miss sheylala

I keep trying to just live in the moment, but I just can't help but think ahead. I am so ready for big changes and growing up, more than I already have. I am 25, it's a terrible age, because I feel like my life is ticking out of control. I feel like it's only a matter of time before that window where normal people get married and make babies is about to escape me. I guess I just want things to fall into place. I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. I'm sick of this scene. I don't want to rush anything, so I'm trying to just let things happen and go with the flow, but it's hard! I never thought I'd be this person, butttttttttt then again, I never thought I would be single at 25.

Anyyyyywhooooooo, I'm not mad at the way things are happening, I just wish they could just fall into place already. Everything, whatever it's gonna be, I'm ready for it. Uhhh... I think?

I seriously miss my dogs, I can't wait for the day when I can have another, life is just not the same without a puppy who adores you. Le sigh.

Random, but I am crazy in lust with James Morrison, well not really him but his voice, and his lyrics. =)

I miss Mark. The Navy seriously cramps my style as I am trying to get to the other side of the country to see him, again. It's kind of annoying but it is what it is, and there is not much that I can do about it.

Ah wellls.

Mmmkay, now to carry on with my lazy day :)

So I didn't work for two months when I moved back home, then started back at my old job. Kinda strange to work somewhere for 4 years, and take a 3 year hiatus only to go back again. Actually it's not weird at all, nothing has changed. Anyways I took vacation because Jess would be home and I really wanted to spend time up at camp. I have been to my family camp in Ossipee every year I can remember with the exception of one....last year. I went up there with some friends and beers and had a awesome time, hard not to when it's just so pretty and peaceful. Mister Marky Mark called me at like 7pm and asked me to change my Cali flights to this week. So I called and changed them after a slight hassle. I booked the flights at 7ish on a Tuesday night, drunk mind you, and flew from Boston to California at 7am the following morning. What a mess. However, the rewards were endless. I had an amazing time. Mark is seriously,

the best. So much more than I hoped for, which knowing me....says quite a bit.

I can't honestly say that I did all kinds of exciting things in San Diego, nothing extravagant but still seriously I had an amazing time. I love it out there, everyone is so content and the weather is constantly perfect. I raced a turtle, haha what? I got insanely wasted on numerous occasions. We went to a drive in. And I met a bunch of Marks friends, who though interesting seemed like pretty good kids. Navy kids, whattya want? All in all it was perfect, amazing and I can't wait to go back. =)

More importantly I can't wait to move...somewhere...anywhere....preferably not here. Sooner, than later.

I spoke to Nate recently. I'm glad that I can speak to him, being civil, and honestly completely platonic. I can't really be bothered with what or who he is doing, and though I feel bad saying this... I rarely ever think of him. In our short conversation he told me he's drinking daily, blowing all of his money, and essentially being a whore. Anyone who knows Nate knows all of all of these things are pretty well out of characteristic for him. So I am mildly worried, but I know him well enough to know he will be okay and I can't save him. I also know that I'm so glad that I have moved on from all that. So, Thank you Nathan.

I'm still exhausted from like 10 consecutive days of excessive drinking. And these allergies are not helping my eyes are burning and i'm congested and it's gross. Time to pretend to sleep.