miss sheylala

i just need to get this out real quick, and it wouldn't be nice of me to air in on facebook where it would potentially upset other people.

I seriously miss Virginia, my job, our house, our dogs, that life that I had with him. And more importantly I miss Nate, a lot. I don't think he realizes what he means to me. Through all this dumb shit I never stopped loving him, not for a second. I was never the nicest or best girlfriend in the world, but one thing I can definetly say without a single doubt in my mind, is I love(d) him unconditionally and still do. There is not a thing in the world that kid could do to make me hate him. What a terrible control for someone to have over me. I have talked to him, kind of. I try to not because it always makes me cry. He still tells me he loves me and he always will and that he's sorry for the decisions he made.

Ugh. It's been almost five months since I moved. And 8 months since we broke up. I'm ready for it to just give. But I'm still waiting for him to just say..."Sheyla, come back home."

:(

Aye aye aye.

I don't know what my issue is lately. But I am annoying myself with the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I want. It's not really like me. And what a drag.

I chopped all my hair off today. Not really sure how I feel about it yet, it's....quite short. Shorter than it has been in...forever. Yikes.

I took a nap from 440-740 today. Um, hopefully I can still sleep tonight. I am currently filling in for Sherrie a lot at work because of the crazy girl that quit (thankgod!) and working twice a week babysitting for Michelle. So I...at the very least don't have a day off for the rest of the month. Which is okay by me, because it's money but maintaining a social life can get a tad difficult. Michelle asked me to go on a short vacation with them to the white mountains, I'm excited, her kids are so well behaved, and they love me and i love them so it works out quite well! =)

Mark and this long distance thing is kicking my ass, the fact that he is working nights right now, I don't think we ever talk. And um...that gets old quickly. BLAH.

For Bobbys (Marions boyfriend) birthday, we went to six flags and I went on this amazing ride thing, called the blitz i think. 200mph, 225 feet, 8seconds. was amazing. I neeeeeeed to go skydiving now. And really I need to own a boat. I would be the happiest ever to just...live on a boat. Ugh. Dreamin.

This is sporadic. I have amazing friends. And I love life. Only a few minor details, okay a lot, that need to fall into place. =)

xo